The Last Expected Thing in the Universe: 2011

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Another Big Milestone -My 3-year Survival Anniversary!

It's been about two years since my last entry, and so much has happened in that time I'm not sure where to begin. I can credit my Mom for this blog entry. She called me to wish me a happy survivor anniversary, and asked me why I hadn't posted anything on my blog or Facebook. I had thought about it several times, but the catch up seemed overwhelming. So, this entry is going to be minimal catch-up. I'll fill in blanks later, but first things first: my 3-year milestone is certainly worth celebrating! I've been smiling all week long because of it, and I just want to shout my joy at being cancer free for another year!

I've had a roller coaster of ups and downs since my last entry, but feel blessed that the ups have significantly outweighed the downs. My breast reconstruction proved to be as bad or worse than my actual cancer treatment, and currently I have only one fully reconstructed breast. My sisters like to call me an Amazon warrior, both because of my height, and the fact the Amazons used to cut off one of their breasts, so that they could be better shots with the bow and arrow. It sounds silly, but thinking of things from that perspective is sort of empowering.

The good news is that just a few months after my last blog entry, I met my my husband, and we were married about a year later. Scott is an amazing man, who truly loves me for who I am. The cancer thing didn't even phase him, and he never made degrading comments about my crazy, wild hair that was still growing back when we met, or the fact that I'm a one-boob wonder. In fact, he was there with me every time I had to be in the hospital, and he has been nothing but supportive and loving. Marrying Scott, I also became a step-mom to three terrific kids, who keep me busy in the most challenging and enjoyable ways. I love being a Mom - it's been something I've wanted all my life, and even when it's hard, it's still wonderful. I am enjoying the journey and everyday is a new adventure. God is great and life is good.

Side note - My sister, Stacy, reminds me I never posted my story about the squirrel acting "Hamlet" out on my back porch. I'll try to do that...

COPING WITH CANCER

- FIND YOUR 'HAPPY PLACE' - As J.M. Barrie said, "God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December." When I'm having a rough time, I try to recall my most pleasant memories and my favorite places. I've posted pictures of some of those places on this blog. I know you can't chose when you're diagnosed with cancer, but if you have any way to go on vacation right before you get the unfortunate news, I highly reccomend it. I left for a long weekend in Orlando with my friend, Melissa, right after I had my biopsy. I had a wonderful time and was able to keep the stress and worry of waiting for test results to a minimum. Plus I got some great photos.
- ALLOW FRIENDS AND FAMILY TO HELP YOU - Sometimes I'm stubborn and want to do everything myself, but often friends and family feel helpless when someone they love is suffering from cancer. By allowing them to look after me, cook me occasional meals, and drive me to the doctor's office, I can often make things a little easier for them. I've found that sometimes loved ones who feel like they aren't able to help you in some way have a harder time coping. So swallow that pride, and don't be afraid to ask for assistance. Doing everything by yourself is not what it's cracked up to be.
- CELEBRATE EVERY SUCCESS AND EVERY MILESTONE - when you reach your halfway mark for chemo or radiation, do something nice for yourself. When you reach the end of a treatment cycle, do something even nicer. It doesn't have to be elaborate - buy a new outfit or go out to dinner. If you've been nausated and you have a day you feel good, take advantage of it and eat some of your favorite food. Plan something to look forward to when all your treatment is complete. I'm planning on taking a vacation with some of my close friends.
- LOSE YOUR HAIR ON YOUR OWN TERMS - I had fairly long hair and was afraid that going bald was going to be one of the most traumatic things about breast cancer for me. I decided to cut my hair in installments. I cut off six inches, then about six more, then I did a boy cut. When I woke up one morning and my head hurt from the hair that was starting to come out, I asked my sister to shave my head. I didn't wait for my hair to come out in big, depressing chunks, I just took the plunge. There are very few things you have control over when it comes to cancer, but one of them is the way you lose your hair. Losing my hair on my own terms was empowering, and I didn't cry about going bald or get depressed like I thought I would.